Now that I've been thinking about it, I am confused - why did one ENT say that my one tonsil wasn't actually that much larger, that it just looked it because of the placement, but the other ENT just said that it was enlarged? Which one is right?

I have decided for now to wait the 6 weeks and then go back to the ENT, partially because I think at this point, any ENT is going to probably just similar stuff like "wait and see" anyways, and partially because I literally need to stop thinking about it, because I am losing sleep, and am so tired during the day that I find it hard to function normally. And with young kids, that's just not a good combination. I'm so terrified about this that almost the instant I put the kids down, I'm up for hours online, looking at stuff about oral cancer and freaking out.

Thank you all for replying to me. I will be checking back in 6 weeks, and I hope at that point, will have some definitive and POSITIVE news.