Everyone,

Thank you so very much for your prayers and hopeful thoughts. Thank you Susan for posting the news for me, and I receive all PMs also by e-mail, so I am getting them and thank you all very much.

The biopsy results aren't in yet. We're REALLY hoping for tomorrow. As soon as I get them and we have a battle plan, I'll let you all know.

The Doctor told my son he's 85 - 90% sure it's cancer, though. He said that the mass is golf-ball size, and not operable, as I'm much too weak to survive it, and also because of its location. It's right at the joining of the upper and lower lobes and the whole lung would have to be removed, and my other lung isn't very healthy, either, so it can't take on "double-duty".

Obviously I've been an emotional basket case since and haven't been very coherent at times. I go from complete and utter devastation to making stupid jokes about this being my last Christmas, so we better get those lights up now. At least the pain is less now - the Doc told my son to give me (and have my PCP made aware) of whatever I need for pain. As long as I don't stand up, I'm doing OK with that issue.

It's kind of pointless to write any more right now. I really need the results and battle plan. Just know that I have absolutely no thoughts of giving up (Doc told my son I would have maybe a month if I did). I will fight this with eveything I can and any strength I can gather together.

Again, thank you all so much. I promise to let you know as soon as I do.

Lani