can you or your mom, call his doctor without his knowing and speak to them about your concerns?

i would think if he is doing well that having the peg is really not that big of a deal one way or the other, if it makes him able to cope but encouraging him to let go is not wrong either and maybe by speaking to his doctor, they could do this better than someone close to him, by them saying "well, time for the peg to come out, as you seem to be doing great!" or something like that.

when my dad was ill i went behind his back to his doctor a few times on issues that i had concerns over and they were very helpful. especially dads seem to get stubborn when moms and daughters/sons try to tell them what they need to do but if it comes from the doc they sit up and listen,

i think your dad is doing as you think he is - scared of any changes because everything feels stabile to him right now. he has been thru hell i am sure and this is his last bit to hold on to, to make him feel he is in control and managing so go easy, don't sweat it and talk to his doc.

hugs to ya for caring so much! he is lucky to have such a great support team in place looking out for his well being.