Welcome, Laurel. I understand the PTSD analogy. Once we have been through this, we can't go back and unring the bell. As a friend of mine says -- "once you're a pickle, you can never be a cucumber again!"

So, yes, we are touched by this cancer thing and it does materially change us. The trick is to transform that change into positive action. This comes with time. I still spend way too much time worrying about recurrence and such, but it is better than it was a few months ago. I do a lot of volunteer work, though I have had to cut back due to my "real" job. I am on the phone list at our local CCC for anyone who has OC to call if they want.

I think we each have to make some individual choices about how much we choose to make cancer part of our lives after we complete treatment. To some extent, of course, that choice is made for us. However, some, like Brian, make it their calling. Others, like many who do not frequent the boards any more, move on to get on with their lives and try to pretend it never happened. Others, like most of us, are somewhere in the middle.

It is a process, not an event. Do not rush it, do not panic. You are among friends here, and we all understand what it is like. This is a great place to gain perspective.