I got fitted for my mask yesterday, along with tons of papers regarding what to expect. I am just so frightened. I seriously don't know if I have the fortitude to follow through with this. I had surgery on July 11th and there is still a lot of swelling and hardness in my neck. I was told yesterday, the radiation will cause more swelling which will never go away. I don't know that I can bear to be disfigured like this. I'm not superficial by no means. I've never been attractive, and now this is going to be even worse. I'm so sad and cry all the time. I know I have to do this because the consequences of not doing are far worse than the effects of the radiation. Six months ago I was healthy and today I'm faced with terror.