Good morning everyone.

I'm sad and heartbroken. My brother passed away Thursday, June 5. My brothers, sister and I had a lovely day with him on Monday, June 2. On Tuesday morning we received a phone call from the hospital to hurry on up there, they had found my brother unresponsive and were doing CPR on him. He had had some trouble with gagging on his phlegm, and couldn't seem to get behind it. Turns out he aspirated his vomit. They could not tell us how long he had been without oxygen, but it took them 20 minutes to resuscitate him. He went into a deep coma and when they took brain scans, there was no activity. The decision was made to halt any further treatment to keep him alive, and he passed quietly and in no pain.

Thanks to everyone on this board for your support and good advice. I wish he had been seen at Sloan Kettering from the very beginning, however, my sister-in-law kept cancelling all the appointments that were made for him. I'm not sure why, other than to say it was an inconvenient location for her. She and our family have never gotten along well, and it is sad for my brother that she was the one making the decisions, as his wife, and we were discounted in everything, right through the funeral.

My brother provided for her very well, and has left quite a legacy for her. On the Saturday prior to our visit on Monday, my brother was told by his doctor that he was terminal and would not survive. Oddly, that was the time that my sister-in-law chose to go back to work (she had been on FMLA leave). Monday after our visit, he begged her to stay the night with him. She was the only one allowed to do that as his spouse. She refused and went home, saying that she had to be at work the next day. This job was something to give her some pocket money, it did not pay the bills. Of course, Tuesday morning was his big crash, and I just can't help feel that it could have been a better outcome had she been there. She said as much at his bedside in the ICU in the moments right before his death. I hope she regrets that decision for the rest of her life. I know I will.

Had to vent a little of my anger at her. Thank God I don't have to have any further dealings with her (at least not in person), and that she will be out of my life forever.

Again, for anyone reading this, don't wait. Go to see your doctor at the first sign of ANYTHING. It could mean the difference of whether you live or die.

Thanks everyone, and God bless.