Thank yall so much for the replies. I try so hard to go on with my life. The surgery I had back in July really did a number on me. If yall remember correctly they had to cut several nerves during that surgery including the one that I used to swallow. That part right there made me think I was going to die because I wasnt going to be able to swallow again. Well, I can swallow most things now after months of very hard work. Some things are hard to swallow and some things are easier.

I have been back to work since October and just got laid off due to lack of work but I will find something soon I am sure.

My psychiatrist relates this to Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Its funny Amy that you would mention about a foxhole in Afghanistan because he compares it to someone who has been to war and has seen all of the ghorry stuff associated with it and their mind just kind of goes into a self-protect mode. I guess that is what has happened here and I dont know what to do about. This is by far harder than the treatments ever were. I guess when my mind realizes that I am going to be ok then this will pass.

Thanks again,
Billy