Dearest LarrysDaughter, God bless you for caring so very much about your parents and for doing those practical, helpful tasks for them--and most of all for BEING with them. Would it be too weird for you to just cry with them? Really, if you are close to tears, just let them out so that maybe your parents will feel that they can let theirs out too. You are all together in the sorrow--of course we grieve for the life that will never be the same. We grieve waving goodbye to our former ignorance of the fact that a calm "normal" is just an illusion that can be shattered any minute. But this is GROWTH! We can also rejoice together that, WOW! We REALLY have gained the ability to treasure, love, appreciate, and rejoice over life's simplest pleasures--every day is a new gift. This is NOT a cliche!

Now I'm going to tell you what my days after my last treatment were like. I had zero skin on my neck. My neck tissues were exposed, my mouth was raw, and physically my life sucked. BUT I was still so very grateful for every smile and hand squeeze that came my way. I couldn't talk, really, either, and when I tried to, I didn't always make sense. Do make sure your Dad has good pain killers, okay? Ask him if they're working, and if he's in a lot of pain still, help your mom get the docs to adjust the prescription or change to a different med.

My friend, your Dad IS frail right now. These three weeks after treatment are THE very worst--or were for me. It's the culminiation of all the battles raging in there; but it's also evidence that his resources are definitely fighting hard!! And that's good!! Your Dad will recover his strength slowly. Even if he hardly says a word, can you hold his hand and tell him something every dad would love to hear. Like that you've been thinking of the time when xyz happened and it made you laugh out loud all over again. Or you remember the time he put together a dollhouse for you for Christmas, and when you think of that, it still makes you feel so very special and thank you so much, dad, you're just so wonderful.

Do you all share any musical interests? I did like listening to soothing music--it was in the background just soothing me. I didn't usually (before cancer) listen to music during the day, but I did find it helpful to get my mind off my body.

Another thing you could do is sit down with a piece of stationery and say, "Okay, mom and dad, I can't put off writing to Aunt Edna one more day! So help me do this and we'll all sign it and stick it in the mail TODAY!" (or a bday card, or whatever).

I wish I didn't have to sign off now, but my "other" family is waiting for me. Please feel free to write to me anytime, or even call me at 240-644-5558 (cell) if you need to talk. I will do my very best to cheer you up!!!

Take care of yourself, too, okay?
Love and prayers for you and your family,
Carol