The hospice movement in general was credited to Elizabeth Kubler Ross who recently passed away. I highly recommend getting her book "On Death and Dying" and/or "Death: The Final Stage of Growth". It will put a whole different perspective on the subject that we will all inevitably face. It is written more from a spiritual but non denominational perspective. It helped me tremendously during my dad's dying process.

Amazon Review of "Death: The Final Stage of Growth"
"Death: The Final Stage of Growth is an especially enlightening work not simply because of the varied and knowledgeable contributed views to this particular volume, but because it approaches death and dying not from a scientific or psychological standpoint, but rather, from a cultural, sociological and mixed religious context. The essays that focus on the Eskimo, Jewish, Hindu and Buddhist approach to death and dying are deeply taken into account, as are their rituals, their cultural approaches and their belief systems. But though all the faith approaches differ in one way or another, the unifying human elements are-for the most part-a consistent grief, fear, faith of a higher authority and the oncoming trials and tribulations that dying can and will entail, all of which unites us. Dignity should begin at the conception of life, and it does not cease until the last breath is taken and arrangements for what follows are respectfully set up. But in many cases, as illustrated in the section entitled: "The Organizational Context of Dying" by Hans O. Mauksch, once a person is diagnosed as having a terminal illness and thus becomes a full-time patient, (s)he, after stripping and handing over their possessions, is banded like a piece of property They then are quickly yet efficiently-like in the military or in religious life-slowly deloused of their sense of autonomy; they are gradually assilimated to the institution. And their physical and mental definitions are not fully acknowledged. It is not done out of spiteful cruelty, just ignorant insensitivity. But through psychological studies-as done by Kubler-Ross as well as others in the field-and radical restructuring in pallative care, hospitals are really no longer deemed as the menacing sick houses of olden times. Rather, the patient as a whole is acknowledged, not merely the physical self. The soul, the intelligence, the humor and wisdom. The "all" of the person is taken into account, and as that is so, the hospital environment in its own right changes for the better. But it stems from communication and compassion and facing what for almost all of us is the ultimate and insurmountable phobia. All in all, Death: The Final Stage of Growth is another excellent and necessary Kubler-Ross offering." (Christian Engler)

There are also two basic kinds of hospice care. Institutional and home. My dad wanted to die in his own bed and the hospice people sent a nurse over regularly, a person to bath and provided many pieces of equipment, wheelchair, portable commode and other items to make caregivering easier and safer. They also trained all of the caregivers. In home hospice requires that someone be there 24/7 so they also provide some respite care as well. I assembled a team of 4 people to watch over my dad, in addition to the support that hospice gave me. The hospice team took much of the fear out of it by demystifying the dying process. They also took care of the death certificate and no autopsy was required.

Benfran, the home hospice requires a dedicated caregiver so your partner will still be actively involved in your care but will receive much needed support. In the US the order for hospice must be written by your doctor to initiate it. It also does NOT preclude palliative care options. Many doctors, unfortunately wait too long to write the order and must be pressed to do so. You have a right to be in hospice for 6 months. In my fathers case when the order was finally written, he died within a month while I and my caregiving team went through a living hell with little support. Don't let his happen to you. The hospice people are wonderful, words cannot express my gratitude to them for the selfless and courageous work that they do.

Liz, I just spoke with our local hospice and they do routinely prescribe medications now to eliminate the death rattle (my last hands on hospice experience was in 1995).