Maybe the "I don't need to do that attitude" is just an attempt for some measure of control over a so difficult situation (which we all need to have if we are going to be able to fight the cancer beast). When my son was starting his treatment, I would ask him things like "Do you want to drive to the hospital or shall I?" Or "Do you want a strawberry milkshake or vanilla?" Even McD's gives you a choice with "Do you want fries with that?" I know what helped me as a CG was the control I found in dealing with phone calls, appointments, making spread sheets and especially, coming here for the strength and compassion I found.