Thanks for all your kind thoughts and support, it does feel good to know you are all out there and understanding like no one else I know.
No explanations how we get from "cancer free" to recurrence in such a short period of time. As we all know this disease is a very fast mover once it gets started, and I think it is present for a while before symptoms are evident. Dr. said when skin metastis is present it means the disease has found its way around all the bodies usual defence mechanisms and distant metastis is also likely, especially to lungs. CT scan confirmed lung mets. I am sure palliative treatment will be offered but I don't think hubby will accept anything that will prolong his life. He has had a terrible time with depression all through treatment and with not being able to swallow, has no wish to continue on. It is good to hear, Brenda, that these palliative treatments have given you so much more quality time. I still marvel at your trip to California. You are a good example of what positive attitude can do.
We have a very supportive healthcare team and friends offering help so I will get through this and will try to manage hubby's care at home. I also will try to recognize when I have hit my limits of endurance and accept hospice placement if needed.