First of all, in the interest of full disclosure, let me warn you that this post may be classified as whining. Feel free to skip and move on, just need to vent.

I am now 4 + months post treatment, and am still disease free, as far as we know. Another PET scan will be coming up on 12/4, but I have felt nothing new in my neck since the "hot spots" showed on the previous PET, so am cautiously optimistic.

My problem today is the collection of "stuff" that comprises the "new normal". First, I have the pea-sized growth that popped up in the center of my upper chest, right in the middle of the chest radiation field, which I presume is a skin cancer of some sort. (I have had several removed over the years). It is ugly and annoying, and it has taken forever to get an appointment to have it evaluated and removed. That comes up Tuesday (at least the evaluation part -- likely have to have another wait before it is removed).

Next is the ongoing dry mouth battle. Salagen has pretty much stopped working. I love to drink coffee, but find that the caffeine exacerbates the dry mouth, as does sugar. OK, coffee and sweets make it worse, which are the two biggest things I crave. Grrr . . .

The neck is also a constant struggle. The nerves are reconnecting from the bilateral neck dissection, I have a lot of tenderness and spasm along the top of the shoulders extending in to the back and sides of the neck, the radiation fibrosis causing the stiff feeling in the front, and the lymphedema that moves around from day to day. Add in the L'Hermitte's sign (tingling/electrical shock feeling down neck, back, arms and legs when bending neck forward), and my neck could qualify for federal disaster relief.

<Deep Breath> OK, I feel better now. I hate to whine, basically because I feel so darn lucky to be alive to see my 52nd birthday on 12/3, which I wasn't sure I would see. My son is home from college for Thanksgiving, and we are doing our traditional hanging of the outside Christmas lights today, then going to pick up his new girlfriend to spend a few days with us. I have a funny feeling this may be my future daughter in law, but we shall see. ;-)

The quality of my problems has definitely improved. It is difficult to articulate, though, when you go to follow up appointments and they ask you "Are you in pain?" Now, I have been in pain, and even my neck spasms don't really qualify for a big reading on the pain meter. But how do you quantify the constant feeling that someone has his hand around the front of your throat? Is it painful? Not really. Is it annoying? Hell, yes!!!!

OK, whine is over. Any thoughts, comments, criticisms, commiserations, laughs, cries or other reactions are appreciated. Gobble, Gobble!!