My name is Jim I posted earlier LIFE ON A FEEDING TUBE. My story began April 97 when I was diagnosed with Squamous cell in the left tonsil with metastasis to soft tissue. I was in treatment 8 weeks twice a day radiation and 5 chemo coctail IV 5 days a week then off 2 in the hospital the entire time. Somehow I survived and refused a neck resection at the end. It took almost a year to come around again but I managed. I was on a feed tube for 8 months then. Somehow a mircle, courage and determination made me eat again. Now on my 10th aniversary of surviving I ended up in the hospital with Step pneumonia for 3 weeks. It almost took me out 60% puss in my lungs. I am home for 2 months and the outlook of eating again is not good at all. Apparently my tissue is changing becoming fiberous and already scared so it is not working any more. This is what caused the asperation pneumonia. have had three cookie swallow tests and flunk miserably each time with severe asperation. It appears I will live out my life on a PEG tube which is freeking me out. I am seeing a shrink currently. I thought I had made it WOW 10 years cancer free to end up like this now. Any advice of having any kind of normal life with as feeding tube would be appreciated. I am real down. I was planning on retiring and traveling the world I just think that all my dreams have evaporated for the future good life. I feel like a prisoner tethered to my tube now kind of like a ball and chain. Need some encouragement from people in my situation please sharing life experiences living with the TUBE.