Brian,

I read this to Harry because I think that you have an incredible way with words and the subject of mortality has been at the forefront around here for a while now.

I think that Harry has chosen the path of ignorance. I told him yesterday that I was envious of those who have taken the time to prepare everything for their families in order to try to make things as easy as they can be should the worst happen.

Harry seems content to leave me to figure it all out on my own. He won't even talk about death other than to say that he knows he is going to die from this cancer.

I am so lost and he is prentending like nothing is happening. I think that he (and he has said this at times) is one of those people who believes he will live forever. Even now he claims that he is going to die because of the cancer but at the same time he does nothing that would make me believe that he thinks that to be true.

I might not be saying this right and I am sorry if it seems jumbled, it is like this in my head. What I mean is that he has made no arrangements, he won't tell me what his wishes are (I think because he refuses to think about it so he doesn't really know) he had to be threatened to do a will and power of attorney, and most importantly he does nothing to make the days count. He just complains like he always has and it just breaks my heart.

I read here on the board the survivors who are living, who have taken this opportunity to brighten their lives and the lives of those they love the most. Survivors who are living, I mean really living.

And here..... Harry sometimes acts as if he is already dead.

Your response was well timed. Thanks for writing it. You are a master of words and it was good to read.

Cindy