Hi everyone,

I really need a shoulder to lean on right now. I know my life has been busy but I am a bit troubled. I have neglected so many of you and I apologize for that. Tomorrow morning I go to the doctor and for once, I am happy to say I had a PET/Ct a couple of weeks ago on the insistence of my medical oncologist and all came back clear! For once, I can go see Mr. Pokey without the usual pre-visit fears and jitters, or so it seems. To add a little stres, my doctor is moving back to Tennessee next week and this is my last visit with him.

The real kicker, though...(the drum roll please) is that tomorrow I have a "double appointment" with Susan going along to see my otolaryngologist. She has been seeing her ENT for a few weeks now and as we see many more lumps protruding all over her neck and the mass on her eppiglotis growing, we can't help but be a bit scared that the ENT is mising something. He ordered a Ct, knowing she was allergic to the contrast but now we find it impossible to get a PET/Ct done without a positive diagnosis of cancer. Susan is scheduled for surgery next Monday, May 1, to remove the lesion and should it come back positive, they will most likely do the neck disection, too. We are hoping a second opinion will put us both at ease.

How can this be happening??? I want to believe that it is nothing and all the lumps that seem so hard are nothing to worry about because the doctor says they move around when he palpates them. I want to try so hard to think positive and not fall into the trap of worrying about what it isn't until they can prove otherwise.

Your thoughts and prayers, please!

Your Friend,

Ed