Tomorrow my husband and I will be flying to Maui to tell his parents about his cancer.
He had a positive lymph node biopsy in Nov 2006.
Neck disection / tongue biospy Jan 9, 2007.
At first I urged him to tell his parents, but he insisted not to. In fact he didn't want anyone to know. I think that was one of the first things he said after receiving the phone call with the biopsy results. So I went along with it until the holiday approached and ended up telling my family who live on the mainland...no threat for people close to us here to find out and I just needed someone to talk to about it.
He started radiation therapy on 2/20/07 and his first weekly chemo on 2/22/07. A few days ago he came home and just told me that it has been eating him up inside and he is ready to tell his parents. I was relieved. We speak with them every Sunday and it's hard to tell them that everything is fine.
We are going over Saturday morning and returning Sunday afternoon. I think it will be easier on my husband that way, but not so easy on his parents. They are both in their late 80's, but pretty healthy. But he does need to get back for his treatments.
I am really dreading having to do this even though I have been waiting since Nov for him to tell them.
We are handling things pretty well and are over that "hump" of first learning that he has cancer. I am breathing without having to think about it and I can actually sleep through the night.
To go through this with them is going to bring this all back again. I hope I can be strong enough to comfort them and somehow give them some piece of mind that we are managing well despite all this. I just hope they can understand why my husband chose not to tell them and forgive us. What's worse is that they knew he went for a lymph node biopsy and he told them that the results were negative.
The good thing is that he is doing well so far 2 wks in to treatment. Still eating whatever he wants..his weight is holding, although he has lost about 15 pounds since they last saw him. But he looks good...158. I think he just wanted to go see them before he starts to get too far in to therapy.
Thanks for hearing me out
Vicki