Wow, Liz! You are experiencing many challenges.
Andrea and Anne-Marie offer excellent suggestions above.
Even with no credentials to offer expert advice, I can only tell you that you are welcome here to say anything on your mind.
Many of us caregivers have been on the receiving end of anger, resentment, threats and no cooperation. We experience guilt at our inability to help. We feel ashamed to even be thinking of ourselves and how we will get through this. We grieve for our previous life and what was important to us.
You will get through this, one day at a time and experience many changes in both of you.
What won't change however, is you will always have someone to listen to you here.
Ginny, caregiver to Mike