Michelle - if you two are aerospace engineers, then you are both independent and capable people. One time I was in the hospital and my husband "hovered" 24/7 - it drove me nuts. My son went every day to rad by himself and drove himself home. Your man isn't going to be an invalid over this. He'll be fine - you go to work and bring home the "bread." You're going to need it. We are 15 min. from hospital and cancer center. We have done so much for son and his family, I can't imagine how they would have done it without us - of course, you have to. Any chance his folks could come out for a couple of weeks, or would it make matters worse?

My son just had neck surgery last Friday. He came home Wednesday and starting eating solids immediately. (In the hospital) He was in ICU for 2 days. He had rad/chemo in May/June. It got really brutal about the middle of treatment but he kept going, no stopping. They took his stomach tube out Tuesday (boy, was he glad). His doc (ENT - H/N surgeon) explained to us that they used to do surgery first, then c/rad; then they switched it to c/rad and then surgery. Different places, different procedure.

His surgery revealed 17 nodes checked, one (the original lump) still had cancer. We are hopeful that since the others came clean, that getting the one swollen node means good news. Guess we'll live under a cloud for 3-5 years. Doctor says: this is it. No more treatment, no more chemo - nothing. I was surprised. Any input on this, anyone?

Michelle, I am sorry you young folks have to go through this. I am at a loss to wonder why there is so much cancer - something is going on. What is it? Many people have written on this board that they have never used tobacco or drank excessively. So, that leaves us with the food we eat, I guess. I am running cold water over all fruits and vegetables for a long time, not just a swish. Who knows?

This is not going to be pretty, but you'll get through it and what a lucky guy to have you and the other wonderful caregivers on this board. Collie