Michelle -

I think it is terrific that the Cancer center is providing you with a furnished apartment across the street. With a 120 mile round trip for the daily treatments - this is a blessing. Kenny had a tough time with nausea during his treatments and riding in the car just made things worse.

I am the primary bread winner in our family and taking a family medical leave simply was not possible for me either. There are a couple things that you might consider ...

1. Don't short-change yourself because you have to go to work. In my case, I kept the bills paid plus maintain the health insurance -- critical items. That's a very important job and has a lot to do with surviving cancer. By bringing in the paycheck, you are (I am sure) relieving some major stress for your husband.

2. Ask that any appointments where the doctor will be visiting with your husband regarding his status be made at convenient times for you -- maybe early morning, or late in the afternoon. The RO met with Kenny once a week, so I tried to be at that appointment. Then Kenny didn't have to worry about remembering to ask specific questions ... I took care of keeping the notes, etc.

2b. If you can't make it to an appointment with the docs, then ask for a follow-up call -- or even ask if they can put you on speaker phone during the visit.

3. Ask about adjusting your hours (if possible) so you can work on a weekend, but take time off during the week. I was able to take work with me to the appointments (it is amazing how productive I could be in the waiting rooms!). I was also able to take advantage of Kenny's sister coming over on the weekend to stay with him, while I was at the office. It never hurts to ask.

4. Social Services -- ask to meet with the social services representative at the hospital. There could be additional help in your area that you aren't aware of. For example, having someone come mow your lawn. It's a simple, silly thing - but it was so nice to not have to worry about things like that.

The toughest time Kenny had was after the treatments were completed. While he had some complications during treatment, he felt his absolute worse the 2 - 3 months after treatment was completed. Keep this in mind and try to save up any vacation or personal days you have for then. You'll both need them.

And to echo JoAnne -- take care of yourself too. You can NOT do it all -- no one can. Just do what you HAVE to do today. That's it. Don't worry about tomorrow -- just today. Think of it as 'eating an elephant one bite at a time'.

Sending lots of positive thoughts your way --
Carol