Hi Wendy
Amy has given you good advice...you should be able to get a bit more help.
After 33 rounds of radiation his throat is pretty sore and swallowing must be excrutiating for him.

He does need the tube feeding, maybe he is afriad to do it himself.

Often times with older family members advice from outside the family is more valuable to them.
It is too easy for them to tell you no, but they will listen to a stranger.
I nursed my Mum and dad through major illnesses and my father was so focused on his bowels it used to drive me crazy!
You also have to remember he could be getting very constipated from his pain meds... is he taking anything for that?
I am sorry you are having such a rough time with this...it would be stressful no matter which family member you were nursing..it just comes with the territory.

Take care
Marica