Hey Vicki I have no words to help,but to say this really sucks, and that no one knows what you are going through. Do what ever you can if it is venting here with us that's just fine. Those who say things will get better, or at least you are alive have no idea and like me don't know what to say to help. I say a prayer for all of us daily, and that is all I know to do. I'm sending lots of love your way.