Hi Susie. Most distressing to hear what your husband is going through. Yes I had exactly the same cancer and the same rad and tongue disection but I had it all done at once. I can't take chemo therapy as it will kill me see my other posting. I never had the stomach tube,I fought against it, I got the nazal tube for the first few days and the doctors and nurses made me practice swallowing. Swallowing nothing but just going through the motions and eventualy I could drink a protein ,high calorie shake after about five days. Still now, if I try to eat solids or pureed food I still gag and choke and it's almost a year since my opperation and seven months since radiation finished. I don't know about your husband but I suffer from dry mouth and have to use a mouthwash and mouth gel to supplement my lack of saliva. It's not perfect and I still only drink my food but its better than the tube.
I had my ct scan the other month and so far so good, if the surgeons got the nerve and the chemo does the rest for your husband chances are good.
Does the swallowing get easier? not for me but I'm only a year into this but my dentist at the cancer clinic told me I'd never go fine dining with my friends again. Patience and percerveerance is all that you can wish for. Yes, it is tireing and demorilizing but you sound like you have the strength to support your husband I don't know what I would do without my Dorothy. You wives are the strength and backbone us men need to continue to survive but don't neglect yourself. I see how tired my wife gets and like a true trooper will not quit, you sound the same. Take a moment for yourself once in awhile.Go have a ladies day.
Wish you all the luck in the world. DanT