goodmorning lauriern,
I too am 49,I had a neck dissection in Jan. I did not have the symptoms that your husband has. I do know that a neck dissection sounds worse than it is I was able to bounce back fairly quickly, you can hardly see the scar (59 stiches)I am still very numb on my neck and cheek as well as my ear, my skin is tight and kinda hard but all is well. You guys can do this, hang in there and above all keep a positive attitude and try your best to contain the freaking out part. I know it is hard, just do your best.
Lenny