My friend is still in denial I think. She wn't talk about her husband's oral cancer. She needs financial assistance but won't call anyone because she says she is just ready to talk about and doesn't want to hear anything about oral cancer. I can understand she is very upset and scared. But I am afraid she will stay like this for too long and not make sure things are done that need to be. I don't want to upset her by talking about things, but at the same tiime, she isn't doing much. It's like she has totally shut down. I know that is OK and it happens and it is common to go through, but is there a time limit in which it just isn't good to be in that state anymore?

What can I do to help her out in areas that havenothing to do with her husband's cancer and yet help ease her burden? I rember how stressfull tings were when my husband had his heart attack and and undergoing treatment, I wish I could do something for her. I offer to watch the kids for her all the time, but I think I just need to go get them maybe and bring them here to play.

Also, how long are hospital stays usually. Her husband had his first surgery Tuesday (to remove part of his tongue) and is still there and will be there over the weekend. I was just wondering about how long these stays usually are.