Greetings from those who have recently visited the radiation zone this a.m. followed by a bonus field trip to the endoscopy suite where you will all be pleased to know that 125! people were scheduled today to have tubes put down their tops and up their bottoms...it seemed a bit hectic right down to the numerous IV bags perched on multiple poles waiting for new owners. The best part was the nurse who assured me "they still make people feel like people here even though Katie Couric started a trend and now everyone wants a scope and we are crazy busy".
I was a little skeptical at the outset when they told Dave he could keep his jeans on because he was only having an upper endoscopsy...hmmm...aren't we also here for a PEG tube placement?
So okay, maybe someone can call ABC and have their oral cancer check on TV and the same result will happen.In the meantime though, I started to get that antsy protective feeling I always get when Dave is in the clutches of the medical establishment and...Antenna going upward!
True to form I was pushy once again to keep Dave safe and me sane. It all started when the first nursing assistant wanted to whip him away to the back area to change and I said I wanted to come since we had not yet MET the doctor who would be inserting the PEG tube and I thought it might be kind of a good idea since you do have to sign that minor paper designating who will speak for you if you can't and it helps to know what you are speaking about!
Anyway, this caused a bit of a stir (I swear,speaking of sex and PEG tubes, maybe she thought I had strange endoscopy changing room fantasies!). I almost put on a johnnie because noone would have noticed me and I could have had a bonus scope while I was there. Anyway, so I tried talking to the charge nurse who immediately reprimanded me for holding a cup of coffee while in the sacred area(Bad girl!!) and being a good nurse conscious of regulations, I tossed it out only to discover that all of the nurses at the desk 5 feet away were drinking some! Ah, the control factor!
The REAL stir happened when a fellow patient who saw me then wanted to have his wife come back to the waiting area too which led to another nurse pointing at me and saying " I don't know why she's back here...we usually don't allow it". Oh well, we aren't out to make friends...just to keep our bus safely on course and drive we did, to the PEDIATRIC holding area where Dave's stretcher was deposited next to a lovely mural of kitties and squirrels while we awaited meeting the surgeon who actually turned out to be very nice, skilled, and professional! There is a god! It was kind of funny to watch Dave react as the teenager next to us answered questions about the color of her stool since the bowel prep and the when her last period was...funny, for once, noone asked Dave about pregnancy.
I did my "he has a palate and arm graft so be careful" dance(translation-have you seen one of these before and watch what you do with that endoscope, baby!) then they were off...for the big insertion which was supposed to take 30 minutes. Okay, so I was good-I waited 90 before I inquired if Dave was actually still back there only to be informed that he had gotten to recovery ages earlier...I just wasn't told right away...they probably knew I'd be back.
So, I greeted Dave in recovery to the happy cacaphony of fellow patients passing post-colonoscopy flatus and munching crackers. All in all, a lovely day and a new chapter for our book.
As I write, Dave has merrily pushed water and Boost into the tube and he's off to see the dietician tomorrow to calculate his calorie needs.
I've been thinking about the aphrodisiac angle...what about a line of G-tube lingerie?
I'm thinking this is a good project for Dee since she needs to jog her memory.
You can laugh, but I do remember attending a lecture once during which a man who had a colostomy brought out animal print satin bags designed to fit over the ostomy to create a romantic mood.
All things considered,another adventure filled day!It makes going to work so dull in comparison to going with Dave!
Hope you all are well,
Kim
