One thing I love about this forum is the ability to talk about the reality of these very difficult treatments.

I made a decision that I could not deal with this alone....and I made sure that my husband looked inside my mouth. One of my adult sons did also, when he took me for a checkup. It was not a pretty sight at first, and they saw it before I did....took me quite a long time to get up the courage, and then I did it when I was alone...BIG mistake! ...very upsetting.

My point is that you need to know what was done, and, for his sake, to be closer to him in his loss. If you don't even know what was taken, after six weeks, no wonder you are in a quandry about the whole thing.

You need to make someone give you an anatomy lesson, so you'll understand what was taken and what is left.

And it will bring the two of you closer. Get a small, bright flashlight, and a mirror. I use a rectangular purse-sized make-up mirror that I can get into my mouth. This is all you'll need to get a good look. For him to get a look, you'll need another mirror. I use an inexpensive shaving mirror that sits on the table. It has a magnifying side and a regular side. With the magnifying side, I can see things that are quite mysterious, since these structures are usually covered forever by the palate. I place the shaving mirror on the table, under a good light. Then I get my little flashlight, and put my little makeup mirror into my mouth, and I get a good look. I do this still to just be certain that things look ok.

Since he has just had a failed graft surgery, the area is going to appear raw and un-healed, most likely. Be prepared.

I will send you the picture I have of a final obturator. It is not mine, but mine is very similar....and a picture of a mouth that is not mine but looks similar....all healed up. The pictures are from a journal.

The obturators are changed as a person heals. The first one is usually just plate, placed at surgery. The sinus cavity above the removed palate is usually packed with antibiotic gauze, so all that is needed is a plate. When the gauze is removed a week later, then the opening needs to be filled to prevent leakage of food, liquids, and air, so the plate then is changed to an obturator, which is a plate with a three-dimensional "bulb" at the position of the opening. This upright portion helps to keep the appliance in place, and it hopefully seals the hole. If there are not enough teeth on the other side, or if the opening is too large, or if it is not prepared properly at surgery, or if the appl. is not made by a knowledgeable professional, then the chances for success diminish. I had fake teeth in this one, and they helped in opposing the lower teeth, which actually helped to hold this one in place, and they added immeasurably to my appearance and my confidence.

As the tissues heal, they change. For this reason, this intermediate obturator must change also, so every 3-4 weeks, a patient should get that appliance re-lined...soft, pliable material is spread onto the appliance, pushed into the mouth (should be relatively painless) to take the mold of the new shape of the mouth....and then it should fit better until the next re-lining.

When healing is complete, then a person may be fitted for a more permanent obturator. That is the type that I have now. It is made of metal, with an acrylic "bulb" and fake teeth set into pink "gums," much like a denture.

I'll send you the picture, though the one you would have at this point would not look like this one. However, the bulb portion would be the same, and the rest of it would be similar, but made of less permanent material, probably pink acrylic.

The "permanent" obturator does not have to be made of metal. It can also be made of pink acrylic.

But not just ANY prosthodontist is skilled at all of these considerations. The right one is one who works often with H and N cancer surgeons and does this often, likely in preference to routine dentures. They might do some denture work, but this should be their primary practice. If not, then they don't have enough experience to do a good job.