Joy
this is a difficult decision, you need to have your facts straight before you can address this. With the info provided it is difficult to appreciate what is going on. (please edit you signature).
If you scan the board here, the majority of patients receive radiation at one time or the other. This is the way to go as long as things are local and surgery was not selected or the margins after surgery were questionable or other facors were not good. If it is not local or if it is suspected not to be, chemo comes in (or as an added insurance, depending on the paranoia level). Chemo is also used initially to shrink tumors prior to surgery/RT.
RT is not fun and reading the stories here are scary. The ill effects will also depend on what exactly is going to be irradiated. The newer IMRT offers a lot of selectivity here, although it is a bad idea to be minimalistic.
I am not finished with my RT (15/33) but so far so good, but this is still considered early in the game (see board here). The RO says ... it is going to be brutal, which may sound strange, but we have a special relationship. In addition, to my beard, the mustache is disappearing too (I get to keep the nose hair.. great!). But whether is is brutal or not it IS effective that is why this. Would I do this if it were NOT necessary.... hell no!
IF radiation is something you are going to do get him to get a PEG tube, and get it early on!
On the other hand if you getting a full chemo treatment especially with combination drugs then this is no picnic either.
My advice is to gather all the info. Staging/Surgery/histology/margin finding etc including planned radiation treatment and talk to your provider. (What type of MD is this?)
Ask about benefits and risks of the different treatments. Remember a MO likes chemo, a RO likes radiation and a surgeon likes a knive, because these are their specialities and we all tend to do what we know best. This is a gross (and in many cases unfair simplification).
It would be helpful to get a second opinion (tumor board).
Hope that helps.
