Thank you all for your suggestions. I don't mean to sound uneducated, but I guess that is just what I am when it comes to these issues. But Gary mentions a "PCP"--what is that? We live in a very small town and my oncologist is a long way away. Not anywhere near me. So should I be calling him to say I am having difficulties?

As far as getting stronger pain meds in the hospital, I actually had difficulty getting them there, too. My doctor kept mentioning that they wanted to wean me off morphine (I only had it for one day when he started talking this way) and to get me lined up on something to go home on. If it weren't for the efforts of one valiant nurse, I probably would never have gotten it at all. She cornered my doctor and asked him to at least let them leave the morphine on in case I had pain in the night. When I did, I was allowed to have it. But I didn't get regular pain relief until the last two days I was in the hospital, and then it wasn't as bad as the first few days had been.

I don't know about calling my family doctor, as I really haven't had one except this new guy that I moved into our town and I saw last year to get my blood checked. Other than migraines, I have been very healthy. Go figure.

I just find that I don't have the energy or the will to do anything. I just hurt so much all of the time. I have so many issues going on at home and I can't deal with anything adequately. I have two beloved dogs--I mean BELOVED dogs--who have both been diagnosed with cancer while all this was going on with me, and normally I would be taking charge and making plans to treat them. I can't even do the research I need to do to take care of it. Sometimes it just feels like my life before was just a house of cards waiting for a big gust of wind to blow it all over.