Thanks everyone. It is comforting to have someone to talk to esp. those who can understand the situation.

The plastic surgeon said 80-yr is not too old to go through such an operation while my mom's physical condition, albeit on long term medication due to slight heart failure, should be able to stand the operation. He cited a 40% healing rate in average worldwide (i.e. survival after 5 years) and the operations he has done so far have all been sucessful. The ability to walk will be affected to a certain extent but should keep her remaining life a decent one.

My mom, being brought up in an agricultural society in Mainland China in early 1900s, has received little education and it is hard for her to fully understand what cancer is and how would it develops. She still thinks that there must be a reason for the tumor and the doctors should prescribe some medicine to help her. I tried to explain to her that cancer cells are like weed while her jaw bone has become rotton tree root. However, I think she has not fully understood the possible adverse scenario that Brian pointed out (and that's exactly what I am most worried about). To her, the surgery could be more painful than hell (although she has survived from another major surgery to remove the anus 35 years ago) but such a conception could be emotional. Yes, ultimately we have to respect her own wish and decision.

Anyway, she still need to take an ultrasound scan and a CT scan this week to ascertain the situation and we are going to see the doctors again on Sept 2. We are not giving up. She started seeing a Chinese herbalist last week, in a hope to contain the size of the ulcer. She is trying to keep up her spirit and we have not totally lost hope.

Once again, thanks everybody for the good wishes.