donnajean, just one more thing that might help you. I, too, had the modified radical neck, and although I was hugely swollen with drains in place when I awoke, there was never any pain. None. So although I was uncomfortable with a head that listed to one side, I had plenty of energy because I wasn't fighting pain. Your husband should do just fine. Oh, another thing, nine months out from the surgery, I am finding that a good deal of the original numbness has receded or vanished all together. Now if my neck itches, I can feel it when I scratch.
Joanna