Thanks, Ed. I don't know what decision I'D make in my dad's shoes, but I'd want to know what my options are and what I would be facing in each case, as best as I could be told. His surgeon was awesome, but was VERY positive that my dad was going to be operated on on Thursday and be at home, doing great, the following Monday. Three weeks later, he's still on a trach, unable to talk, can barely walk, can't eat, sleeps most of the time, can't read, can't watch television ... just lays in the bed staring at space when he's awake. At least he used to be able to read the newspaper from cover to cover every day and watch the news. What really bothered me is that the surgeon never even acted as though my dad had any choice in the matter, just told him "This is what we're going to do." I told my dad repeatedly - it was HIS decision; NOT the doctor's, not my mother's, not mine. It's his body, it's his life. He has the right and the obligation to decide what treatment he does or does not want. He did get the surgeon to explain his options eventually, and he opted for the surgery. I have no argument with his decision, because I think he had been given the options and the likely outcomes on which to make an informed decision. I just don't want to see him get bulldozed into a decision that someone else thinks is right, and then if it doesn't turn out the way it "should", they say, oh, man, I'm sorry, I hate to admit when I was wrong, but I was, while he is left to live with it.

As for my husband, he passed away in Hospice one week after being declared terminal, a little over two years after being hospitalized for the first of many times with acute liver failure. He fought the good fight, and I was the one who forced HIM to go to the hospital that first time, or he would have died that night. I often wondered if he resented the fact that he suffered so much over the next two years and would have preferred having gone quickly. I was lucky enough to be able to ask him and he told me no, that he had no regrets, nor do I. It's one thing to watch someone you love suffer when you know that they are fighting for their life because they WANT to, and a whole different story when they are forced into a position they never wantedand never would have chosen IF they had been given a choice... and that's all I'm asking for my dad. He may live for another 10 years without treatment, he may die in a year or less with treatment ... None of us know what will happen, I'd just like him to feel he has some control over what decisions are made with his life.