thank you all for your frankness and encouragement. I'm so close to being emotionally wrung out that I'm not sleeping despite the anti-anxiety meds. I've never suffered from depression before in my life, nor have I ever had anything more serious medically than a bad cold, so this whole ordeal has been completely devastating. I appreciate you all telling it like it is, not necessarily how I "want" it to be, but how it is.
Wayne