Packer`s wife here........I understand your feelings about the Holidays........Packer has 10 more hrs of surgery and 10 more days in the hospital after the Holidays........I keep thinking, what if they find more cancer again, or he develops another infection......I keep thinking what if this is our last holiday together, and how do I get through it, and why even try to celebrate..........after all the surgeries the past year, they just keep getting harder, and my attitude certainly isn`t helping him....sometimes the emotional pain is just overwhelming