Thank you Mark. I suppose I did forget it takes time for HPV to do its dirty-work, even in Cervical cancer. Though I have to admit Ive been very very irresponsible with my oral health, and have thus created a ripe environment for bacteria and infection

I guess part of what is making this so hard on me right now is something alot of people seemingly take for granted. Most times I hear of these stories people talk about how their partner helped them through it. Its not so much my age that bothers me, but the fact that the person that I had in mind to be there for me is out of the picture now, and while I do have my family I dont know how Im supposed to face something like this possibility with a broken spirit and being alone. If I come out of this disfigured as a young guy like I am, what will my hope ever be of finding someone again? Ive read about the xerostomia and the radical neck dissection's etc... and have just about worked myself into a tizzy.

And even still, you could say I should be thankful to be in this place. In the past year I have been deathly afraid of everything from HIV at the beginning, to being completely 100 percent convinced I had pancreatic or GI cancers due to all the slew of symptoms I dealt with.

I know Im rambling, but I just wanted to get that off my chest.

Thanks again,
Ian.