Karen,
I can't help you on the other stuff, but getting the feeding tube is a pretty simple procedure wherein they sedate you and a radioligist punches a small hole in the stomach area and installs the tube. Using the feeding tube is quite easy if your mother in law is able to get around at all. All that you do is pour a couple of cans of formula into the reservoir, hang it on something, stick its tube into your tube, turn the valve, and then sit as gravity carries the liquid through the tube into your stomach. I used to sit at my breakfast table or in my easy chair while at home or at my desk while at the office and do the feedings. It is painless and you can even nap while feeding.

I hope that this helps.

Danny G.