Hi Danny:

I applaud the step you have taken to explore resources that might prove helpful for you to feel better. It strikes me as I read your posts that you may be grappling with the sheer reality of the process you have just completed and are now thinking about the magnitude and meaning of what has happened to you in the last several months. It is likely that when you were consumed by treatments you had a schedule and a focus on getting through those daily and didn't really have time to see and feel th emotional side of this experience.

Now, you are minus the schedule and that sort of leaves "you and you" to look each other square in the eye and examine how your life and thinking may have changed from having a cancer experience. My take is that I would be more surprised if you DIDN'T have a swell of turbulent emotions at this time. You have been through a huge, life-changing event in diagnosis and treatment. You simply cannot be the same person you were before cancer came into your life.

The task may be now to reframe where cancer sits for you in your mind and your life. Dave has said he prefers to view cancer as a message from his body that he needs to honor having to do with lack of balance inside his system. He prefers not to think of it as an enemy or horrible entity. In short,I am saying that you may be working in your mind to find a way to integrate the cancer experience into who you now are and that is causing you feelings some of which are not comfortable. I also think it might be helpful to just sit with the feelings a bit and listen to what the message is...
How are your family members doing at this point? Do you feel supported? Tell us more about where you are at with work and daily activities.

Once again, you aren't alone and it's very brave to say your emotions are wreaking a bit of havoc.It is also brave to like and embrace the new strong person you hav become.

Pulling for you,

Kim (and Dave from his Post-op bed still with trach-if he could talk yet I'm sure he'd echo these words too)