Hello. My name is Laura and my Dad, Ted, has Stage 4 SCC of the front mandible. I am just starting to learn all of the terminology so please bear with me. He has a large tumor and we are not sure how much it has invaded the bone. They have found another growth in his neck. My Dad is 70 years old and has received a surgery date of October 25th (which 20 days seems like forever) at Fox Chase Cancer Center in Philadelphia. My Stepmom,Julie and I are his CGs . . . My Dad is scheduled for a composite resection of the mandible and neck dissection.

My Dad is taking this all okay . . .he has a sense of humor that I know he uses to mask his fears.

I am scared to death and cannot thank Lois and Buzz for kindly reaching out to me last week . . . just when I needed to hear from someone who can understand what I am feeling and answer my questions.

We met with the surgeon today and I am home now panicking. I don't know how to do this . . . I never had to help take care of someone after surgery, or radiation. My Stepmom does not do well at all under stress so I have her also to deal with . . .

I have two children 5 and 8. My 8 year old daughter has freaked out the past two nights . . . being totally disrepectful, crying screaming, all while my parents were here. THIS I DO NOT NEED and I am beside myself. She is not normally like this and it was very upsetting to my parents. They need to feel welcome in my home . . . Fox Chase is only and hour from me so they have been staying with us for appointments and my Stepmom will be here the whole time Dad is in the hospital and whatever is beyond. My daughter does know her Pop-Pop has cancer but she does not really understand. I have tried to keep life as normal as possible here while I help my Dad, I am with him at every appointment helping him every step of the way. I do not want to make this so hard on my family, but face it, it is hard. Anyone have advice on how do help the children cope?

How about my Dad? I don't know how he will look after the surgery, if they have to remove part of his chin and lip area . . will speech be difficult? He only has the use of his left hand as he was born with a smaller right arm. Anyone have shoulder difficulty from the neck dissection? They will remove the bone graft from his leg, is this really painful? Is the jaw area painful? ?He does not want to know any of this . . . I just want to know so I can be there for him.

I have so much respect for this forum and for all of you and what you have been through . . . I hope to someday be able to offer some support and comfort in return.

Laura