Julie. welcome. To answer your most pressing question about his arm...yes, he will be able to use his arm normally afterwards.

I had a free flap elevation from my left forearm, roughly 7 in. by 2 in. which was then covered with a skin graft from my thigh. Today, the scar is sensitive to exposure to sunlight, and I have to be careful about scratching the skin on something (picking blackberries is out).

He will have a while post surgery that he will be limited, but within a few weeks he should have full abilitiy back again.

As for all of the rest...you're overwhelmed. I know, and I understand. We've been there too; overwhelmed, terrified, looking for something, anything that will help you get through this.

The good news is you found it. Keep coming back here with your questions, or when you need to vent. There is a huge amount of firzt hand experience here, and we'd all be happy to help.

Hang in there...this is something you can do
Wayne