Welcome to the club no one wants to belong to..
Apprehension is really normal, but you can make it through this. You've got a lot of challenges ahead of you, and it will not be easy; surround yourself with the best medical advice you can get (preferably at a comprehensive cancer center).
If you're dentist is apathetic, find a new one. It's an important part of both pre-Tx and post-Tx care. A cancer care center will have Dentists on staff to assist you with some of the details invovled in treating oral cancers.
As for what to expect...that's really tough to say. Each person is very different in how they react to treatment. Some common things with chemo are nausea, hair loss, sore throat, fatique, etc.
Radiation can really knock you down. Moucositis, burns, hair loss, VERY painful throat and difficulty swallowing, nausea. Todd is going to be sick, probably sicker than he's been ever before, and he'll be that way for some weeks.
It's overwhelming, it's terrifying, and it's DOABLE. Some days it's tough to get through an hour at a time, but you can. Try to off-laod as much of your daily routines as you can to family and friends, and concentrate your efforts on getting through and getting well.
keep coming here, and asking questions. Most of all let us know how you're making out
Wayne