Hi Carole (and Al),
and welcome to the forum. There is a ton of information on the home page and I suggest you start there because there is a lot to learn as you are finding out. Brian has done a great job organizing and finding the latest information.

I don't blame him for not wanting to know - many don't and it seems that we have more caregivers here then patients. It probably better if you are his advocate anyway since it can be very emotional for the patient.

Be sure to take good notes and don't let anything slip by you during the doctor appointments. We are here for you.

If he has to have radiation, consider a month of recovery for every week of treatment - typically 6 months. Recovery from surgery is much faster. For many of us it took a bit longer than 6 months to be fully functional again.

I sure hope that he has quit drinking and smoking at this point - it can have extremely severe consequences during and after treatment. Find a 12 step group for the drinking and get on the patch or the gum for the tobacco.