caregiver speaking......my husband could have driven himself the first few weeks but there is no way he could have driven the 100 miles daily after that. He could barely get out of the car some days. He could not think clearly and doctors told him no driving for a long time afterward as his response time was terrible. We hid the keys in fact as he wanted to escape and go buy himself foods that he ended up throwing away because he could not swallow them. He wanted his old life back right now.

Now, I'm not trying to scare you. if you had been around and read how he starved himself for 2 months due to pride about needing a feeding tube, you would understand that his mind got messed up from the starvation. the docs told me that's why he couldn't do the most simple task for a long long time. The treatment is tough enough but he made bad choices that set him back in ways that shouldn't have happened. But I will tell you to find drivers. I lined up co workers of his a few times just to give myself a break. Warn them you do not feel like talking....just need a driver. I told drivers to not expect conversation so they were prepared.

Best wishes to you. People here do care and will listen. They carried me through a lot of darkness and gave me information I needed to understand the process.
Do what the doctors tell you and trust me, it will go better than if you decide to buck the system. A year later, you would not know he has had back of the tongue cancer stage 4a. Hang in there, we are all rooting for you.

ETA...you are going to need a support system of some sort. Nurses that come to your home to check on you, a friend or two to drive, etc. This is not a path easily taken by oneself. Time to be a little imposing and selfish. I give you permission!