Hi, DIL- please tell us more about your situation and what role your immediate family will be playing during his treatment. I can share with you that my husband's son[my stepson- age 36] has pretty much tried to ignore the possibility that John might die from this cancer, thus making communication harder for us over this past year.So how and what you communicate to whom is liable to be tricky. We also have a 14 yr. old grandson who has pretty much lived with us since he was 6. This has been really tough on him, and I have tried to be as honest as possible without being grim. If your Father in law elects radiation and chemo, the kids will see the effects of that and will understand how sick he is. How old are your kids? Keep talking to us. We will be here for you. Amy