We're all patients here, not doctors ... just folks who've been down that road and stuck around to help others. So no one is qualified to give medical advice. (Basically that means, you really need to see that surgeon for actual information.) That said, when I was doing my frantic-research days, I recall reading that the ones that hurt were less likely to be cancer and more likely to be some other benign but annoying issue. And if you've gotten this far and the pain has stayed at about the same level, maybe it's just one of those issues?

Most cancers they only talk about 5 year survival rates because they don't track patients past 5 years ... after that, they consider you cured or whatever. Some folks do get recurrences, but not everyone, with oral cancers ... and there are folks here who've been there, survived that. (I had a recurrence when I wasn't even one year out from my first diagnosis. Yikes. But hey, at least they caught it!)

The best advice you'll get to start with is, if this IS cancer you're dealing with, make sure you've got the best treatment center you can possibly find in your area (and if you have some worth traveling to, then do so). The better you tackle it up front, the less you have to fret about later. BUT ... right now, it's not cancer. It's not cancer till the doctor says it is, and till he does some sort of biopsy, there's not any information for him (or you) to work with ... they can't tell just by looking in your mouth. They've really got to look at the cells, bit by bit. None of us were even talking cancer when I went in for my first surgery ... I just had a sore that needed removing. (Yeah, I don't fit those stats about the painful ones not being cancer, sigh.) My surgeon went bit by bit and had the labs check every smidge he removed, till he got clear margins. I woke up after a rather longer procedure than expected, to find out that it was cancer ... but that he'd also been able to get the whole thing. We had follow-up tests later to make sure it hadn't spread elsewhere ... but for my first go-around, it really was that simple.

Anyway, ((hugs)) and you aren't alone, and get in to see that surgeon and get some information and reassurance as soon as you can! We'll all be here for you if you need us after all, okay? And hug those kids. Mine were a great support to me, even though they were also fairly young ... my second round was tougher, but we homeschool and they took full advantage of the extra time to watch lots and lots and lots of TV with Mom, or listen to favorite audiobooks, or watch more TV. We had a blast with that part of it, and it did bring us all closer together. (Who needs Spelling when you can watch Golden Girls, eh?)