Im very sorry you are going thru so much right now!!! Please do yourself a huge favor, go back and read your post, absorb it, then read it again. Try to view this from an outsiders perspective, your post has so many "maybe's"! I call that the "what if" way of thinking. Its speculating about something you have absolutely no control over. I feel your pain and I completely understand what you are going thru. But, at the same time you're ten steps ahead of yourself contemplating your own demise and how you will prepare for it.

We have a saying around here... "its NOT cancer until the biopsy says it is". This is especially relevant to your situation with having the dysplasia return. I was afraid this would happen. I remember mentioning dysplasia frequently returns in a previous post so if it happened, you would not jump to conclusions. At this moment you have NOT been diagnosed with cancer. You joined our group for info about dysplasia. The odds are against it ever becoming cancer. Honestly, to me (as a survivor of having oral cancer 3 times within 3 years and the 3rd round having a very slim chance of survival) I see you are a very, VERY fortunate person to be here with not being diagnosed with a potentially life threatening disease, oral cancer.

Since our members are OC patients/survivors and caregivers dont be surprised if we do not know how dysplasia presents itself. Our members do not have medical degrees or years of medical education. We can help others with info about what we ourselves have been thru, oral cancer, barbaric treatments and a long never ending recovery phase. There are only a very few members who have had their cancer start out as dysplasia. The majority of us never had or dealt with dysplasia so our knowledge is very limited. I suggest calling your physician, asking to them the questions you asked us and schedule an appointment to review your results in depth and to learn more about dysplasia from a medical professional.

We are all our own worst critics and enemies! If you need help managing your health concerns, a therapist and/or anxiety meds may be some tools to help you get thru this. Dont let the fear of the unknown take over your rational thinking. Take it one day at a time, count your blessings and for your own good stay positive and try to see how lucky you are.

Hopefully this change is not anything serious. Good luck!!!