Boy am I sorry to read about your husbands lack of progress with his intake! You certainly have your hands full right now. I understand the situation very well. I fell into the same trap and it landed me in the hospital several times for malnutrition and dehydration. It wasnt because I didnt take in enough cans of formula, I completely skipped feedings and had other issues too. The biggest problem I went thru was not having a caregiver. This caused me to struggle. As for the feedings, I was so wiped out I would spend about 23 hours a day in bed. I would only getting up right before my kids got home from school so they wouldnt know how sick I really was. This quickly snowballed to where I got so sick my I could barely walk and my son rushed me to the hospital without stopping to even make an appointment. The receptionist saw me in the wheelchair and how bad I looked and took me right in the back to the treatment rooms. The doc came in and looked at me and admitted me into the hospital where I stayed for quite a while until I pulled out of it. That doctor never asked me a question or examined me at all, she just looked at how sick I was and within 2 minutes of arriving in the hospital, it was poof! "you're being admitted".

If your husband is well enough to return to work then he should be well enough to manage his intake. I'd like to know what kind of feeding tube he thinks he will get? I doubt that any physician would replace his current feeding tube with another type when the patient isnt using it like he should be doing. Many patients hate using the feeding tube but it is a necessity for them. If your husband is still losing weight its due to not taking in enough. The bare minimums a patient needs during the first year post rads is 2500 calories and 48-64 oz of water.... every single day until at the very least he hits the one year mark after finishing rads. Thats the minimum!!! For someone who has significant weight loss, and still is losing weight they need more. I suggest 3000-3500 calories daily. When I was in my recovery phase, I would make these giant chocolate peanutbutter milkshakes. Those shakes had anywhere from 1200-2500 calories each depending on how much of calorie laden ingredients I added. I drank one every day, some days I had 2 or 3 of them until I realized that I was taking in over 7000 calories a day. I started reading up on this and discovered that during the recovery phase the body continues to fight hard to rebuild itself which burns up calories at a much higher rate. Even with taking in 7000 calories several days a week and 3500-4500 the rest of the week, I still did not gain an ounce. I was stable, without losing any more weight but I couldnt gain anything. I finally began to gain a little weight about 5 years after my initial diagnosis of OC.

Recovery is a long road!!! Its full of ups and downs and a few setbacks thrown in there too. Its NOT easy at all and when theres a patient who is in denial of the severity of their situation that becomes a dangerous situation for the patient. Without proper nutrition, calories and water your husbands body can not rebuild itself. I already know he will not want to make changes with increasing his intake thru the tube but he must or this will become a huge problem for him. I nag members about intake all the time. WHY? Because I was so sick when I was admitted that I actually was convinced I was in the first stages of dying. I really thought I wouldnt get better enough in time to survive. Thats something I wouldnt wish on my worst enemy. Your husbands weight loss must stop. The only way that will happen is if he dramatically increases his intake immediately. Unfortunately if your husband doesnt make some major changes he will have a harder time than he should. This can also be due to his aversion to the particular type of feeding tube he has. Thats just a personal preference that is NOT important or a reason not to use the tube. He must begin to turn this around or it will catch up with him and he'll have some pretty lousy days ahead.

Malnutrition can cause serious problems with his health, he is not just losing weight he is losing muscle as well. He will start to notice he isnt as strong as he used to be. He will begin to get fatigued easily and have problems with his memory, balance and even having the strength to walk around. Its very scary when your legs dont want to work anymore and you dont have the strength to even stand up. Ive had many "bad days" where I have had to go to the ER for emergency hydration from being in really bad shape. During those episodes I get confused, throw up, have diarrhea, stomach and abdominal cramping, infections, non-healing sores, and just completely out of it where I was lucky I knew my own name. Mentally I was not even present enough to text or dial a phone. Once I realized what was happening I usually could catch it in time to turn myself around but not always and I would really hate to see anyone else ever go thru that when they could so easily use the feeding tube.

Being a caregiver is a TOUGH job! Watching someone you love not take care of himself must be very hard to see. Having a patient who becomes stubborn and is refusing to take care of himself by ignoring doctors orders will have problems. It will catch up with him which as his caregiver will not be easy to watch happen. Your husband understands everything about his condition, right? Is it possible he is depressed? That is very common in OC patients. Mentally being forced to face your own mortality can be very difficult to deal with. If your husband has not seen a therapist or had medications to ease the anxiety then it would be a good idea to suggest this to him. Im sure he will not want to participate in things like this, most patients have the "not me" type thinking of needing some temporary mental help. Its just like the feeding tube... its a tool to get him thru some rough spots. I hope he turns this around soon.

Im rooting for you, best wishes to you both!!!