Hello Aandj,
I am so sorry that you have need of us, but welcome. You have dealt with more than your share of life's challenges.
There are many on this site who have had a similar diagnosis to your husbands and I hope someone will come along soon to encourage you.
This is a difficult path and life will get stormy for awhile, but it is very doable. Keep coming back here for support and advice. Ask anything you need to, we are all here to encourage , advise and support you both.
Tammy

Caregiver/advocate to Husband Kris age 59@ diagnosis
DX Dec '10 SCC BOT T4aN2bM0 HPV+ve.Cisplatin x3 35 IMRT.
PET 6/11 clear.
R) level 2-4 neck dissection 8/1/11 to remove residual node - necrotic with NED
Feb '12 Ca back.. 3/8/12 total glossectomy/laryngectomy/bilat neck dissection/partial pharyngectomy etc. clear margins. All nodes negative for disease. PEG in.
March 2017 - 5 years disease free. Woohoo!