Welcome to OCF! Im so glad you have found our group to help get both you and your husband thru his treatments and recovery. We will help with info and support.

By reading and educating yourself about your husbands disease, you will become a strong caregiver who can advocate for your husband. Best thing you can do right now is to encourage your husband to eat as much as he can. He should have all his favorites and desserts too. This is especially important for him to gain a few pounds if he is on the average - slim size. He doesnt want to go into this with cravings for his favorites thats why Im mentioning to have them now.

Theres a few things you can do to prepare for the big surgery. If any friends or relatives offer their assistance, tell them when the time comes you will let them know what they can do to help. Theres a million small things that all add up to be so much on the caregivers shoulders. Thing like walking the dog, picking up children or taking them to their events, cooking dinner (you still need to eat), doing a load of laundry, and picking up medications at the pharmacy are a few things that can help you both. If you can line up a few people to take some shifts at the hospital when he has his surgery that would be a great jump on getting prepared. Since its likely he will not be able to be understood right after the surgery, someone should be with him as much as the hospital allows. If possible, someone there to be his voice during the first couple days. Too often patients who cant speak, hospital staff will walk into the room at all hours of the day and night expecting him to talk to them to answer questions. Or, the staff may not be as responsive as they should be when the patient rings for them so having someone there to help them is a huge relief for both the patient and caregiver.

Make sure you take some time to take care of yourself too. You have been thru far too many close relatives passings that this situation must be very difficult for you. We will help you so feel free to ask questions, read (both here and on the main OCF site), and if necessary to vent.

Best wishes!

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