Yes, it is a very individualized decision. I will say it's been harder this time, for sure, and her surgeon said it would be. She's had a lot of swelling and mucous and her incisions are not as quick to heal because of all her body has been through in such a short time. Also, last time around, she left the hospital without a trach or a feeding tube, and this time, of course, she really has needed those. She's been mourning the lack of independence a little more this time around, too. Emotionally, she's been so tough and taking it one day at a time and accepting new normals, but I know she's ready to be independent, and wants to reduce her pain medication so she can drive again. As much as she loves her family, I know she's looking forward to the day she doesn't have to have a companion ALL the time!
It was harder this time to look to the future to help her get through because of the grim statistics and limited options. We were so lucky that the choice for surgery has paid off at least for now, but I could see how hard it would be, had things been different, to find purpose and motivation to heal in the face of a horrible path report. During the two weeks between the surgery and the path report, we were all very guarded and tried to "read" people for any little hint that they had news for us and what the news might be. She never asked about the report-for her, it was better to stay focused on the task at hand.
I read in someone's older post that you start off talking about how you're going to kick cancer's tail, etc., and you need that mindset to get through initially, and then you realize it's not that simple, and it's terrifying. Still, when I think of the roads she had to choose from, this was definitely the right one for her right now. She turned 73 this month, and she's able to laugh at my brother's humor and close her eyes and feel the breeze and water her plants hopefully for a long time to come....
At any rate, so sorry for the length. Really, I just want to say thank you again for the well-wishes. Maybe as she heals and goes through the process of working on swallowing and speech, she'll be checking in with you herself! But I'll log on and keep up with you all anyway!
