Wow... I am very surprised with 4 nodes involved that they did not give you chemo as well as rads!!! Let me first say that. I gather based on your description of the surgery that they only removed as small amount. Ideally - they should have removed more. But this is all unimportant now. The surgery you had was what I had. I lost 1/3-1/2 of my tongue - they grafted from my wrist. Believe it or not recovering from surgery was easier than recovering from rads. That said it will take longer to heal now that you've been radiated. Get as MUCH PROTEIN as possible to help you heal. I don't mean steaks or the like. Protein shakes, will help. Ask them if they did full radiation to your mouth. I am wondering if they only did your neck and didn't concentrate so much on the mouth assuming they had gotten it all. In medical lingo, a recurrence this soon after surgery isn't really a recurrence, truth be told it they didn't get it all in the first place (that's a quote from an oncologist)
Best of luck. The trache sucks so bad (not gonna lie) so I hear you. And suctioning BITES in a big way. But it should only be for a short while so hopefully by day 3 or 4 post op, it will be gone.
Hugs.