From reading your post I sense that it's the enormity of all this combined with his bad reactions to past treatment that is overwhelming your husband. Viewed from that perspective, it could bring down even the strongest people.

Early on, in my cancer, and before the worst side effects started one of the forum members told me that on some days we just have to focus our energy on getting through today. If the pain or side effects get really bad, we concentrate on getting through this one hour. That hour passes, we got through it, so give yourself a thumbs up and keep moving forward.

I think maybe your husband has stopped moving forward; he has stalled out mentally and can't see that he is still making progress.

Maybe that's where you can help him the most, by changing his mental picture from a long term view back to a short term view. When he gets through today successfully, use that tomorrow to remind him of his success and that he is in reality returning to health, albeit very slowly.

So much of this physical battle is mentally realizing nothing happens quickly, including recovery. I am one year post treatment and while most of the side effects are gone, some (like food tasting bad) still persist. Sometimes that bothers me because I really like food. BUT then the realization comes that because food doesn't taste very good, that I eat less, so the weight I lost in treatment is easier to keep off; and that's a trade-off I can live with.

Has your husband lost weight in treatment? Does he look better because of it? Maybe that's a silver lining to this dark cloud he is standing under. Be very careful with this weight loss idea because weight loss during treatment is highly frowned on by both forum members and the doctors and nurses.

Good luck, let us know how it turns out.

Tony